Quiz: Am I Dealing with A Toxic Person?

 Life’s too short to be serious all the time—so if you're looking for a quick mood boost, you've landed in the right corner of the internet. These funny thoughts are equal parts sarcastic, sassy, and painfully relatable. 

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Whether you're sipping tea, hiding from responsibilities, or just need a chuckle, let these one-liners add a little lightness to your day.

1. Person: What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done? 

Me: Awfully bold of you to assume I’ve peaked. 

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2. I’m at that age where I respond to your 10:37pm text at 6:05am the next morning.

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3. Not to brag, but I can forget a new password before I’ve finished creating it. 

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Inspiring read: 82-Year-Old Woman Dragged Her Walker Six Blocks to Bring Soup to a Boy—Here’s What She Said When I Tried to Stop Her.

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4. They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by two minutes. I’ve done the math. Seems I died in 1537.

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5. If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself, you should say: “He obviously doesn’t know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned.”

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6. One does not simply grab the tongs, without clacking them together at least twice like a crab.

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7. My ancestors navigated the ocean using stars and I’m over here missing my exits with a GPS.

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8. Saying “have a nice day” to someone sounds friendly. But saying “Enjoy your next 24 hours” sounds threatening.

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Thanks for reading. Find inspirational and relatable stories—only at NostalgicGrandma. These stories exist to make you feel seen and remind you that you’re not alone. 

If you have thoughts or a story to share, email us at hello@nostalgicgrandma.com

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