Being a single dad can feel like walking a tightrope without a safety net. All eyes seem to be on you, and there’s no manual to follow.
On top of that is the constant pressure to bond with your child, all while silently worrying, “What if I mess up so badly that, twenty years from now, they don’t even want to know me?”
Philippe Morgese, 33, knew that feeling well.
When he became a single parent, his daughter Emma had just started preschool.
Suddenly, everything landed on his shoulders, parent-teacher meetings (where he was often the only dad in a sea of mothers), making sure she was dressed well, and brushing her hair just right so people wouldn’t judge him as “the dad who can’t cope.”
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One day, a hairdresser suggested Philippe brush her hair before bed. After a few days of trying, Philippe realized how it had become a bonding moment between him and his daughter, something he began to look forward to in the mornings.
“It was a perfect opportunity to connect, talk to her, and discuss her feelings,” Philippe told The Guardian. Over the years, they would have chats about boys, periods, and other grown-up stuff.
Wanting to spend more time with his daughter, Philippe gave up his job and launched a freelance career selling vintage electrical kits so that he could look after Emma.
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When he realized how much doing Emma’s hair meant to him, more than it did to Emma, Philippe decided to teach other single dads like him how to do their daughters’ hair.
He set up a venue and posted some photos his Facebook page, letting people know about his upcoming workshops.
Soon, he received hundreds of messages supporting his heartwarming initiative, alongside many single dads asking him to teach them.
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On the day of the workshop, Philippe found his class full of single dads, from a prison guard, mechanic, and general contractor to an Apple tech and a healthcare recruiter.
Philippe would teach them various aspects of hairdressing, from basic brushing techniques to ponytails, braids, and buns, styles suitable for little and young girls.
He and Emma would also prepare goodie bags full of supplies for other dads to take home, without charging a dime for the bags or the class itself.
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While Philippe’s initiative encouraged other single dads to come forward and seek support, it also highlighted the importance of fathers finding ways to bond with their daughters, without relying on mothers to be the mediating source of connection.
Whether it’s through hairdressing or ensuring there’s good food on the table, at the end of the day, it’s essential to build a secure base with daughters, so that when they grow up and leave, they’ll want to come back to their single fathers.
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“It’s not exactly rocket science,” says Philippe.
“You can’t ignore them in their first decade and then wonder why they don’t want anything to do with you later on when they grow up.”
If you enjoyed this father-daugther emotional bonding, check out this proud father who shared the moment his daughter with down-syndrome graduated from college. “I’m the proudest father on planet.”
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